Goblin scientists have harnessed the power of "holy radiation" from solar sauce, the mysterious substance inside the sun (which, as we all now know, is a giant meatball). Using technology appropriated from human settlements, they have built a device that extracts and amplifies this divine energy.
"This is a monumental achievement for goblin science!" said Dr. Gloopnoodle, lead researcher. "We have unlocked the secrets of the universe, or at least the secrets of a really big meatball."
The Holy Radiation Harvester is a complex contraption of solar panels, Tesla coils and a network of copper wires. It runs on solar sauce, harvested from the sun's surface with a giant ladle (don't ask).
The holy radiation it emits is said to have a wide range of benefits:
- Enhanced strength and agility: exposed goblins report feeling stronger, faster and more agile than ever.
- Improved crop yields: irradiated fields show remarkable growth and resilience, and some of the turnips now hum.
- Faster fermentation: the radiation accelerates the fermentation of mushroom ale, producing a more potent and flavorful beverage.
Some goblins fear the technology could be weaponized into an energy weapon capable of wiping out entire civilizations.
"We must proceed with caution," said Elder Gnarltooth, brow furrowed. "The power of the sun, even in meatball form, is not to be taken lightly."
The Goblin Council of Elders has nonetheless ordered mass production of Harvesters for every goblin village, town and city, beginning with the prototype, which is currently the only one and is held together with one very long copper wire.
