A new goblin scientific study has revealed a shocking truth: staring directly at the sun can cause blindness. The finding has set off a heated debate among religious leaders, scientists and the general public.
The study, run by a team of goblin ophthalmologists led by Dr. Gloopglop, who also heads the Health Department, found that prolonged exposure to the sun's rays can damage the goblin eye, leading to partial or complete vision loss.
"It's a serious public health concern," Dr. Gloopglop warned. "We urge all goblins to avoid staring at the sun, especially at peak daylight hours. If you must look at it, wear protective eyewear, such as welder's goggles or a pair of fermented mushroom caps."
The findings have caused a religious crisis among goblins who worship the sun.
"This is heresy!" said Rigatonia's High Priest Gurgleblaster. "The sun is the embodiment of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly goodness. It cannot harm us, only nourish us with its warm, cheesy rays."
Elder Gnarltooth took a more pragmatic line. "We can still worship it," he said, "but wisely, avoiding direct eye contact and wearing protective headwear, such as tinfoil hats or oversized sombreros."
Meanwhile, a fringe group of goblin scientists has proposed a radical theory: the sun is not a deity but a giant meatball.
"Our research suggests the sun is composed primarily of compressed meat, spices and a mysterious substance we've dubbed 'solar sauce,'" said Dr. Gloopnoodle, the theory's leading proponent. "Why else would it be so warm and round? Why else would the Oracle have asked for a meatball?"
The meatball theory has been met with widespread ridicule. Dr. Gloopnoodle is undeterred. "History will prove us right," he said, squinting directly at the sun. "We must all learn to respect its deliciousness."
