GNN EXCLUSIVE

Crisis Averted! GIA Agents Restore Goblin University From Backup

Published: February 11, 2025 at 2:40 PM

The Goblin Intelligence Agency (GIA) has undone the duplication disaster at the Institute of Questionable Science (IQS). Agents restored the university to its state a few hours before the experiment, and the mountains of duplicated gold coins and rivers of fermented mushroom juice have vanished back into the digital ether.

Classes have resumed and research is back on track, if "on track" is the word for the IQS.

"This is a victory for goblin ingenuity and a testament to the GIA's commitment to protecting our nation from existential threats," said Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst, who is quietly relieved that his duplicated sock collection is gone.

The GIA has not explained how one restores a university from backup, or who keeps the backups. Asked, an agent said only, "Someone has to."

The Goblin Council of Elders thanked the GIA and fined the IQS heavily, citing "excessive consumption of system resources during the restoration process." Elder Gnarltooth said the scientists must learn to experiment responsibly. Nobody on the Council has asked who sent the bill.

The IQS says it has a newfound appreciation for data backups. The rubber chickens are also gone, except one, which nobody can account for and which nobody will touch.

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