Guy Fieri has renounced his U.S. citizenship and declared himself a proud citizen of the Goblin Nation.
Sources inside the Council say a special Internment Task Force was formed to help Fieri embrace his new goblin identity. The task force, led by the cunning goblin diplomat Slippery Glibsnot, used a combination of flattery, bribery and the threat of force-feeding Fieri a lifetime supply of fermented slug slime.
It culminated in a lavish citizenship ceremony, during which Fieri's entire face was tattooed green, a traditional goblin rite of passage. Fieri, sporting his new emerald hue and a slightly dazed expression, then signed a declaration renouncing his American citizenship and pledging allegiance to the Goblin Nation.
"I've always felt a connection to the goblin spirit," Fieri slurred, his words garbled by the potent mushroom wine served at the ceremony. "Their passion for flavor, their love of life, their commitment to culinary chaos. It's all so, like, righteous, man."
The culinary world has questioned Fieri's sanity and his motives, and the question of what was in the mushroom wine.
"Guy Fieri is one of us now," declared Elder Gnarltooth. "He has embraced our ways, our food, our glorious green skin. Together we shall usher in a new Flavortown, where goblins and humans live in harmony, united by their love of all things delicious."
Asked whether the tattoo was permanent, Glibsnot said, "Everything is permanent if you don't let them leave."
