Moldy scrolls leaked from the Elder Goblin Repository claim Mudwick Isle was made by a wizard long before the British Isles formed.
The scrolls describe Gleepglorp the Magnificent sculpting the island from a heartbroken mermaid's tears and the cooled lava of a vengeful volcano. This contradicts the other legend, about a sea witch, but goblins do not mind contradictions in their favor.
"This changes everything," said Supreme Leader Grungle. "Britain is guilty. We demand an apology, a fine and a lifetime supply of tea and crumpets for emotional distress."
Britain has still not responded. Experts believe it is trying to discredit the scrolls, or settle before the pixies arrive.
Mudwick Isle is planning a victory feast, with mushrooms, questionable cheese and the ceremonial burning of a cardboard Big Ben. The cardboard Big Ben is running slow.
