The Goblin Council of Elders has expanded restraining orders to include literal restraints. Victims of harassment or stalking may now bind their tormentors in chains and confine them to a basement, dungeon or other suitable chamber.
The law has been met with jubilation in some quarters and outrage in others. Supporters call it a long-overdue protection for vulnerable goblins. Opponents call it a draconian attack on the fundamental goblin right to be creepy and annoying.
"This is a victory for goblin safety," said Elder Gnarltooth. "We will not tolerate harassment or stalking. If a goblin cannot control their urges, they will be controlled by chains."
"It's just another way for the Council to control our lives," grumbled Grungle Flankmire, a self-described free spirit known for his questionable flirting techniques. "Next they'll be banning hugs and high-fives."
Legal experts are still debating whether the law will reduce harassment or simply relocate it to the basement. In the meantime, if you plan to approach a goblin you don't know well, proceed with caution. You never know when you'll find yourself on the wrong end of a set of shackles, and the basements are filling up.
