The goblin text on the back of the Rosetta Stone has been translated, and it is not a translation. It is a confession.
According to Professor Grunglethorpe, who led the work, the passage is a manifesto describing a centuries-old prank: goblin scribes deliberately carved wrong translations on the front of the stone to confuse human scholars for generations.
"The goblins of old were masters of mischief," Grunglethorpe said. "They knew it would baffle human scholars forever."
The hieroglyphs' true meaning, according to the goblin text: crude jokes, insults aimed at ancient Egyptian deities and a recipe for a particularly potent fermented mushroom stew.
"They must have laughed their pointy hats off," Grunglethorpe chuckled.
Egyptology is in turmoil. Some scholars want the whole field overhauled.
"A humbling reminder that even the most intelligent creatures can be fooled by a well-executed prank," admitted Dr. Bartholomew P. Witherspleen, a renowned human Egyptologist. "I suppose we should thank the goblins for adding some humor to our dry and dusty field."
Goblins are already calling for a national holiday. Dr. Witherspleen has asked to see the stew recipe, purely for research.
