The Goblin Nation is in a full-blown prank war with Australia, sparked by the blanket affair and fueled by national pride, fermented mushroom fumes and an unhealthy amount of one-upmanship.
The Australian government, known for its dry wit, has pulled a series of increasingly elaborate pranks on the unsuspecting goblins, executed with impeccable timing and a straight face. The Goblin Council of Elders is baffled, enraged and questioning its own sanity.
The most notable so far:
- The Great Vegemite Switch. Australian agents replaced the Goblin Nation's entire supply of fermented mushrooms with jars of Vegemite, causing widespread disgust and a brief but intense outbreak of "yuck face."
- The Drop Bear Invasion. A squadron of trained drop bears, notorious for ambush tactics and a love of tourist hats, was airdropped onto Mudwick Isle, causing a run on protective headgear.
- The Phantom Didgeridoo Symphony. Didgeridoo music from no identifiable source has haunted the Council chambers for a week, driving the elders to distraction and sleep deprivation. The ghost ancestors, who already live there, have complained about the noise.
- The Kangaroo Caper. Rogue kangaroos in miniature military uniforms infiltrated the Goblin National Guard's barracks and replaced its ammunition with eucalyptus leaves, rendering its weapons useless but pleasantly fragrant.
GNN has denounced the campaign as "a declaration of war" and "a blatant violation of international prank etiquette," and called on goblins to retaliate with their own brand of chaos.
The counterattack has not gone well. A plan to release a swarm of rabid badgers on the Australian embassy collapsed when the badgers, smelling a barbecue, staged a picnic instead.
Goblin therapists report a surge in anxiety, paranoia and Vegemite-induced nightmares. The Council has set up a Prank Trauma Support Group, where goblins share their experiences and learn coping mechanisms such as deep breathing and fermented mushroom ale. Its first meeting was interrupted by a didgeridoo.
