The Goblin National Guard's attempt to seize the Goblin Gaming Group's headquarters collapsed into confusion when a "warning shot" released a volley of non-Euclidean ammunition.
After the Council of Elders issued an ultimatum, the Guard, armed with questionable weapons and fortified by fermented mushroom ale and patriotic fervor, surrounded the Group's complex. As the standoff tightened, a nervous soldier fired by accident, and the resulting projectiles defied the laws of physics and geometry.
Eyewitnesses said bullets turned into rubber chickens in flight, grenades sprouted bunny ears, and rocket launchers spewed confetti and glitter. Both sides stood scratching their heads and dodging poultry.
"I've seen some weird things," said a veteran, "but this takes the fermented mushroom cake. I never thought I'd see our army armed with party favors and livestock."
The Group, which had prepared for a bloody battle, used the confusion. Its security trolls deployed water balloons filled with glitter slime, and Grungle and his executives escaped through a secret tunnel to a bunker stocked with enough fermented mushrooms for a lifetime.
The Council, humiliated, has opened an investigation. Preliminary findings suggest the weapons were loaded with leftover supplies from a training exercise involving hypothetical hyperspace forces. The Guard's military strength is not to be underestimated. Its logistics might be.
