Grungle, Supreme Leader of the Goblin Nation and CEO of the Goblin Gaming Group, has filed for personal bankruptcy. The announcement followed a 72-hour slot machine binge at the Lucky Leprechaun's Lair, during which he reportedly lost his entire fortune and then some.
"I knew the odds were against me," Grungle said in a tear-stained press release, "but I never imagined a 95 percent return-to-player rate could leave me penniless. I guess the flashing lights and catchy jingles were too tempting for my goblin brain."
In an attempt to get his money back, Grungle went up to the penthouse of the Shamrock Suites hotel to demand a refund from the Group's accounting department. At his office, an automated message told him he had been terminated for insufficient funds and that the Vice President of Ethics, a frugal and puritanical goblin named Glurp, had been promoted to CEO.
"Our automated systems are a little too efficient," Glurp said in his own press release. "Grungle's reckless spending has caught up with him. It is time for fiscal responsibility and ethical leadership at the Group."
Grungle has been seen wandering the streets of Mudwick Isle, muttering about rigged slot machines, rigged elections and the unfairness of the universe. He has moved into a cardboard box behind the Wash & Dash, where he reminisces about his former glory and plots revenge on the "greedy algorithm."
Some goblins mourn their charismatic leader. Others welcome a more responsible CEO. Grungle's future is uncertain. He may rise like a phoenix, or like a particularly resilient cockroach.
