Scientists have isolated the elusive "dumb" gene, responsible for a wide range of human stupidity. The marker, named DUMB-1, is linked to poor decision-making, reality TV addiction and an inability to understand sarcasm.
A gene therapy is in development to replace DUMB-1 with its smarter counterpart, SMART-1, which could produce a generation of genius babies with impeccable taste and a natural aversion to conspiracy theories.
Critics warn of a world overrun by insufferable know-it-alls. Proponents counter that some dumbness is essential to human survival, since it gives the intelligentsia something to laugh at.
"We're not trying to create a world of perfect geniuses," said lead author Dr. I. M. Smrt. "A little dumbness is what makes us human. We just believe everyone deserves the chance to reach their full potential, even if that potential is only slightly above average."
Asked why the lead author's name is missing three letters, Dr. Smrt said that was sarcasm and did not understand it.
