A week after GNN exposed the nation's struggle with the fourth dimension, the Goblin Council of Elders has approved a plan to fix it with video games.
Schools with 4D physics programs will receive grants to buy Meta Quest headsets and $100 in Steam credit for every student, so they can immerse themselves in non-Euclidean geometry and "think outside the timeline."
"By immersing goblins in worlds that defy traditional geometry, we will unlock their hidden potential," said Elder Gnarltooth, a secret fan of Portal.
The plan also includes a partnership with the Goblin Gymnastics Association, which will develop "mental gymnastics" exercises to build cognitive flexibility and spatial reasoning.
"This is a game-changer," said Professor Grungledim, who led the call for reform. "Soon our goblins will be bending spacetime like pretzels."
Critics warn that students may vanish into the virtual world and neglect their other studies, and their hygiene. The Council is confident the benefits outweigh the risks. Early figures from the pilot school show 4D comprehension up 3%, hygiene down 40% and the Steam credit spent, in every case, on games that are not about geometry.
