The Goblin Council of Elders has a plan to make the nation forget the shredder, the piñata and the Gurglax scandal: borrow a neuralyzer from Will Smith.
Sources close to the Council say it is actively trying to acquire the memory-wiping device from the Men in Black films, in hopes of erasing all recollection of the scandals of its reign.
"They're terrified of the truth," whispered Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst. "Their grip on power is slipping and they'll try anything."
The plan has obstacles. First, the Council must persuade Will Smith, a human celebrity with no known ties to the Goblin Nation, to lend it alien technology from a movie. Second, it must work out how to operate the device without erasing essential goblin knowledge, such as how to brew fermented mushroom juice or throw a proper tantrum.
Will Smith's representatives declined to comment, which the Council has taken as a yes.
The scheme appears to have been kept from at least one Elder. "What if they erase our memories of how to make fire?" asked a worried Elder Gnarltooth, after GNN told him about it. "Or worse, how to properly insult our enemies?" He then asked GNN what we had been talking about.
