The invasion of the human world is off. The Goblin Nation has dropped its threat over the Goblins Gone Wild greenface scandal in exchange for a lifetime supply of unlimited breadsticks from Darden Restaurants, parent company of Olive Garden.
The deal was brokered by goblin diplomats and hungry human executives, and the Goblin Council of Elders has embraced it as a gesture of goodwill and cross-species cooperation.
"This is a fair and equitable solution," said Elder Gnarltooth, through a warm, buttery breadstick. "Unlimited breadsticks will nourish our bodies and our souls, and heal the wounds of this cultural misunderstanding."
The vote was not unanimous at first. Some Elders held out for a controlling stake in Darden or a lifetime supply of fermented mushroom juice. A marathon negotiating session fueled by endless baskets and dipping sauces brought them round, and the session is technically still going.
"We are honored to share our culinary creations with the Goblin Nation," said a Darden spokesperson. "We hope this gesture begins a new era of friendship between our species."
Human commentators question the wisdom of appeasing a hostile nation with unlimited carbohydrates. The film's producers, meanwhile, have recast the role with a real goblin, who has been fired twice for eating the craft services table.
