- Earwaxologist. Thanks to the B-2 incident, earwax removal is booming. Specialists in soothing tinnitus and extracting debris (tiny jet engines included) are earning shiny pebbles hand over fist.
- Window replacement technician. Artisans who patch shattered glass with anything from spiderwebs to candy wrappers are in high demand, especially after those pesky "flyovers."
- Fermented mushroom sommelier. With the mushroom craze reaching new heights, experts in fungal fermentation are raking in the dough, or rather the mold.
- Troll translator. These linguists bridge the gap between goblins and their less eloquent neighbors, deciphering grunts, roars and the occasional belch.
- Chaos mathematician. Experts in the probability of random events, such as a spontaneous pixie rebellion or Grungle falling into a vat of fermented pineapple juice.
- Pixie whisperer. Brave souls who calm disgruntled pixies and negotiate the return of stolen socks and shiny trinkets.
- Professional apology writer. The Goblin Council of Elders needs a lot of apologies, and these wordsmiths craft eloquent ones that somehow blame everyone but the Council.
- Meme alchemist. Digital artisans who make viral content that amuses and confuses the goblin populace in equal measure.
- Grungle impersonator. With the former GGG chief's popularity on the rise, goblins who can mimic his mannerisms, voice and questionable fashion choices are booking gigs, to the delight and occasional horror of audiences.
- Professional nose nacho artisan. A highly specialized culinary profession devoted to the perfect blend of spices, herbs and questionable powders for the Goblin Nation's favorite snack.
GNN does not guarantee the legitimacy or profitability of any of these careers. Apology writers are hiring.
