The fifth day of the Goblin Council of Elders' celebrations for its newest member took an unexpected turn when Elder Fungella, in a state of fermented frenzy, dropped Elder Gurglesnot while attempting a daring zipline run to the Snuggly Snoring Slug (ahem, bed and breakfast).
Gasps turned to sighs of relief as a shimmering aura enveloped the falling infant, slowed their descent and set them gently on a conveniently placed pile of laundry, freshly laundered.
The stunned crowd erupted in cheers. GNN, broadcasting live, named it "The Miracle of the Floating Baby" and declared it a sign of Gurglesnot's divine destiny and the Council's infallible wisdom.
The elders, still shaken, embraced the story at once. "See?" said Elder Gnarltooth, wide-eyed with relief and bewilderment. "We told you this baby was special. The Flying Spaghetti Monster himself intervened to protect our chosen one."
The others, relieved and slightly hungover, agreed. They declared the incident a sign from the heavens and confirmation that appointing a newborn had been the right call.
Gurglesnot, oblivious, gurgled happily, clutching a half-eaten pacifier shaped like a fermented mushroom.
The miracle has cemented the infant's status as a beloved figurehead, and the Council has used it to boost its popularity and deflect criticism. Whether it was divine intervention or a lucky pile of laundry, the elders have made clear that a dropped baby will not dampen their party spirits. Fungella has been asked to hold the drinks from now on.
