The Goblin Council of Elders has appointed a newborn goblin as its newest member. The infant, barely a day old and smelling faintly of fermented milk, was sworn in during a hasty ceremony in the maternity ward of Mudwick Isle's only hospital.
The appointment follows the passing of Elder Gnargrak the Ancient, who passed away at the age of 983. Rather than search for a qualified replacement, the elders took the first available infant and declared them the reincarnation of a legendary elder.
"We believe this child is the chosen one," said Elder Gnarltooth, barely audible over the newborn's cries. "The Oracle has spoken. The prophecies foretold a new leader, a reincarnated soul who will guide the Goblin Nation to greatness."
Which elder has been reincarnated is unclear. The Council's candidates range from Grungle the First, founder of the Goblin Empire, to Fungus the Flatulent, the legendary bagpiper whose music could reportedly kill a troll.
Critics call it desperation and laziness. "This is ridiculous," said one citizen, shaking a fist at the hospital window. "That baby can't hold a spoon, let alone govern a nation. Are the elders senile, or just incredibly lazy?"
Despite the controversy, the newborn, whom the Council has named Gurglesnot the Great, is already a national icon. Parents are dressing their children in miniature council robes in the hope they too will be chosen. GNN has launched a reality show, "Goblin Baby Boot Camp," in which infants compete in diaper-changing obstacle courses and fermented milk chugging contests.
