Welcome to the first edition of GNN's Goblin Gossip Roundup, where we look into celebrity relationships with the help of rumor, innuendo and a healthy dose of fermented mushroom-induced speculation. Who's snogging whom? We have no idea, but we'll guess anyway.
- Gnarlita the Glamorous and Grungle Brinejaw the Gruff. Is this power couple on the rocks? Gnarlita was spotted leaving the Groovy Grotto with a mysterious hooded figure, while Grungle was seen drowning his sorrows in a vat of fermented spider cider.
- Fungus the Fabulous and Moldylocks the Magnificent. Whispers from the Council chambers suggest a budding romance between the two fashion icons. Their shared love of moss-covered clothing and questionable hygiene could be the foundation of something lasting, or at least something growing.
- Elder Gnarltooth and the Enchantress of the East. This pairing has set tongues wagging nationwide. Is the Elder's political power enough to thaw the Enchantress's icy heart? Or is this another fleeting fling for the notorious womanizer and proud father of twelve?
- Grungle Gristle and... himself? GNN's own Chief Analyst has been absent from recent social gatherings, fueling rumors that he is secretly dating himself. Is this self-love gone too far, or is Gristle simply enjoying some alone time with his collection of shiny baubles? He declined to comment, on the advice of his partner.
GNN cannot guarantee the accuracy of these rumors, only that they are entertaining and possibly libelous.
