The Goblin Parliament has passed a bill expanding the Council of Elders from four members to five, without asking the Council. The move has set off a constitutional crisis, and the elders have called an emergency meeting to debate its legality and, more urgently, how cool a candidate would have to be.
"This is an unprecedented power grab," said Elder Gnarltooth, turning a vivid purple. "The Council has always been the sole judge of its own membership. Who do these upstarts think they are?"
Others agreed, questioning Parliament's authority to change the goblin constitution. A few dissenters suggested that new members might bring fresh ideas.
"Maybe we could use new blood," said Elder Fungella, the Council's resident fashionista. "We haven't had a new member since Grungle the Third choked on a fermented mushroom cap in '97."
That opened a debate over the qualifications for membership: experience, wisdom and, above all, coolness.
"Coolness is subjective," said Elder Gurglax, stroking his beard. "Some goblins find my collection of shiny rocks the epitome of cool. Others prefer the raw power of a well-executed prank."
The elders talked late into the night over fermented mushroom tea and stories of past members' coolness. Finding a fifth goblin who could match the Council's mix of wisdom, eccentricity and questionable fashion would not be easy. Whether the Council will accept the vote or defend its exclusive club is not known.
