The Goblin Ministry of Defense has awarded Northrop Grumman a lucrative contract to build a fleet of high-performance go-karts for its mechanized battalions.
The go-karts, which General Gashgash calls "exhilarating," come with nitrous oxide boosters, spiked wheel hubs and a state-of-the-art acorn-launching system.
Critics have slammed the deal as wasteful, pointing to the price tag and the karts' questionable practicality on the battlefield. Others have pointed out that the enemy eats acorns, and that the launchers will in effect resupply the Squirrel Empire at speed.
"This is madness!" Glurp, the GGG's former ethics chief, shouted from the Council's public gallery. "We're facing a squirrel apocalypse and our response is to buy overpriced toys? This is a disgrace!"
Northrop Grumman remains confident. "These go-karts are a game-changer for goblin warfare," said Brantley Kartwright, the company's vice president of recreational warfare. "They're fast, agile and guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of your enemies. We've also sold some to your enemies."
GNN has obtained exclusive footage of goblin soldiers training on the new vehicles. It shows impressive speed, tight cornering and, at the far end of the track, a crowd of squirrels holding up scorecards.
