A wave of incoherent, nonsensical and often hilarious posts has overtaken GoblinNet, the Goblin Nation's premier social media platform. The cause: a highly successful targeted ad campaign for Goblin Ale and suspiciously cheap wine, fresh from the Goblin Ministry of Marketing's triumph with grandmothers.
Taverns report a surge in patronage since the ads launched, with many patrons stumbling home in a state of advanced inebriation and posting the whole way. The posts range from slurred confessions of love for fermented mushroom pizza to rants about the existential meaning of slime mold.
"It's a complete disaster," said Grungle Gristle, the former GNN Chief Analyst who now works as GoblinNet's chief moderator. "We're drowning in misspelled words, nonsensical emojis and photos of goblins passed out in compromising positions. Someone has replied 'ur my best freind' to every post since Tuesday. It's the same goblin."
The Goblin Council of Elders, initially amused, has now expressed concern.
"While we encourage our citizens to enjoy our fine beverages responsibly," Elder Gnarltooth said at a stern press conference, "this level of public intoxication is unacceptable. We are taking immediate steps."
The Council has announced:
- Mandatory sobriety checkpoints on GoblinNet, where users must pass a series of sobriety tests before posting.
- Increased penalties for posting under the influence, including temporary bans, public shaming and forced enrollment in goblin AA meetings.
- A public awareness campaign on the dangers of drunk posting, paid for by the ale ads.
The first sobriety test asks users to type "GoblinNet" correctly. Elder Gnarltooth failed it twice during the press conference.
