Top 8 Ways to Avoid a Bender Every Friday Night, According to a Goblin Who's Been There
1. **Befriend a used-car salesman.** Endless coffee, lukewarm pizza and conversation. No buzz survives it. 2. **Invest in the Goblin Embezzlement Trust Fund.** Nothing sobers you up like watching your savings vanish. 3. **Attend mandatory s...

