In a bombshell report that has rocked the goblin gaming community, the Goblin Gaming Group (GGG) has revealed a shocking truth: poker is not as fair as goblins thought.
A GGG study used a random number generator to simulate a three-handed poker game. The player designated as "in on it" with the dealer consistently received much better hands than the other two, winning over 85% of the games.
"We were flabbergasted," said Grungle Gamblescab, lead researcher. "We ran the simulation thousands of times. The 'in on it' player cleaned up every time, while the other two were left scratching their heads and wondering what dark magic was at play."
The findings confirm earlier research from Titusville showing that the best poker hand is always whatever your opponent has, and extend it: your opponent has it because the dealer gave it to him.
"This is a travesty!" cried Grungle Gristle, now a renowned poker player and owner of the All-In Inn tavern. "I've lost my life savings to those cheating scoundrels! I demand justice!" Gristle's life savings were, until recently, a collection of hats.
The Goblin Council of Elders has opened an inquiry, vowing to punish those responsible for this egregious breach of goblin gaming ethics.
The GGG has warned all goblin poker players to be wary of anyone who claims to be "in on it" with the dealer. GGG casinos, it added, are completely fair, and all GGG dealers are in on it with the house, which is different.
