TITUSVILLE, Fla. — The latest round of experiments at the Goblin Research Institute (GRI) has gone off script. Its bipedal, opposable-thumbed, culturally fluent dog (BDCD) subjects have started questioning the experiments, invalidating the results and leaving researchers scratching their heads, and in one case behind the ears.
During cognitive tests designed to measure problem-solving, several subjects stopped mid-task to ask what the tests were for. A Labrador Retriever named Sherlock Bones asked, "How does memorizing these arbitrary symbols contribute to our understanding of canine intelligence?"
A Border Collie named Professor Paws raised ethical concerns. "Are we merely subjects in your experiments," Paws asked, "or are we collaborators in the pursuit of knowledge? And who approved the thumbs?"
The questions have thrown the GRI into disarray.
"We underestimated these BDCD," admitted Dr. Barker, head of the GRI. "Their ability to challenge our assumptions has forced us to rethink our entire approach. Also they've figured out the treat cupboard."
Some researchers are frustrated by the setback. Others see an opportunity. "Perhaps we should involve BDCD in designing future experiments," proposed Dr. Wagglesworth, a GRI psychologist.
Sherlock Bones has already submitted a design. It is a study of whether goblin researchers can sit and stay.
