Swarms of giant trash-eating insects have descended on the Goblin Metropolis. Some of the bugs are the size of small goblins. They have been seen eating everything from pizza crusts to rusty car parts, leaving empty cans and bewildered goblins in their wake.
The swarms arrived just as the city's open-air garbage mountains, piling up for months because of budget cuts, reached their peak.
"It's a nightmare," shrieked Grungle Flankmire, as a giant beetle climbed out of his garbage can. "First the stench, now these bugs in our homes. Chaos!"
The Goblin Council of Elders has offered no plan, but sources say it is weighing:
- Aerial bombardment by a squadron of trained bats carrying explosives.
- Chemical warfare with experimental pesticides that may or may not turn the bugs into larger, angrier mutants.
- Giant flyswatters built from car doors and swung by volunteers.
None has been chosen. The bugs, meanwhile, have eaten through roughly a third of the garbage mountains, which is more waste management than the city has done all year.
GNN advises goblins to stay indoors and stock up on bug spray. Our newsroom is under siege by a swarm of especially aggressive cockroaches, so this report may be incomplete.
