TITUSVILLE, Fla. — Nearly a year after its breeding plans leaked, the Goblin Research Institute has apparently succeeded. A new internal study obtained by GNN refers, without further explanation, to "bipedal, opposable-thumbed, culturally fluent dogs," or BDCD. The GRI has declined to say how many generations it took or how it got them to fit in a year.
GRI Dog Behavior Adaptation Study
Study goal: investigate how BDCD perform common dog activities compared with traditional quadrupeds (TD).
Experiment 1: Ball fetching. Matched pairs of BDCD and TD dogs. TD: traditional throwing and fetching. BDCD: try underhand tosses and rolling, and observe how they use their thumbs and upright gait to retrieve. Record time to retrieve, gait efficiency and overall enjoyment. Note any unique BDCD strategies, "e.g., dribbling, throwing the ball back."
Experiment 2: Tug-of-war. TD: traditional pulling. BDCD: test grips (thumb and finger, full hand) and how an upright stance gives leverage. Record pulling strength, grip style and engagement.
Additional experiments: frisbee catching, agility courses tailored to BDCD physiology, and hide-and-seek, to test "potentially improved spatial reasoning."
Expected outcomes: BDCD may develop new and efficient strategies for traditional dog activities, which could inform new games designed for them.
Ethical considerations: ensure BDCD are not disadvantaged by dog-centric equipment, for example by raising the tug-of-war rope.
According to a GRI source, the first BDCD tested threw the ball back, asked why, and has not fetched since.
