Fueled by Trotsky audiobooks and fermented mushroom stew, the Goblin Council of Elders has launched a revolution against the Goblin Gaming Group.
Witnesses describe flaming arrows, catapulted goblin grenades and a rogue dragon, reportedly bribed with a lifetime supply of stolen dwarven ale, raining fire on GGG headquarters. The casino complex is a smoldering ruin.
It is not the first time the state has come for GGG. The National Guard's raid on the group in December 2024 ended in a rubber-chicken fight. This one ended with the building on fire.
The elders have declared a state of emergency, imposed martial law and promised to "purge the nation of capitalist greed and decadent entertainment." They have proclaimed the Goblin People's Republic, with Elder Gnarltooth at its helm.
"A glorious day for the goblin proletariat!" Gnarltooth proclaimed from atop a pile of smoldering slot machines. "We have cast off the shackles of capitalist oppression!"
GGG has not responded. Sources say its chief executive, Grublina, escaped and is rallying loyalists in the tunnels beneath the city, where the mole people have offered them a room.
The nation is on the brink of civil war. GNN is broadcasting from a reinforced bunker, and asks all goblins to stay calm and stay tuned. Safety third.
