Elder Gnarltooth has apologized for the Fair Chance Sweepstakes scandal and taken full responsibility for his distant cousin's victory.
"Me humble apologies to all goblins who felt wronged," Gnarltooth groveled before a horde of angry reporters. "Me pride got in the way of me good sense, and me deeply regret the pain and suffering me caused."
To make amends, Gnarltooth has promised that every goblin who entered the sweepstakes will receive a grand prize of their own, win or lose. The Goblin Gaming Group (GGG) has agreed to foot the bill.
What this means for you
If you entered, get ready to be showered with riches, or at least with some cool stuff. Every entrant is promised a package tailored to their desires. Rumored prizes include:
- All-you-can-eat fermented mushroom buffets
- Custom-fitted armor and weaponry
- Lifetime passes to the Groovy Grotto
- Personal grooming sessions with Gnarltooth's renowned barber
The nation rejoices
The mood has swung from fury to jubilation. Goblins who were waving pitchforks last week are now praising Gnarltooth's humility, and the GGG's casinos are full again with goblins confident they will be treated fairly.
The GGG says all prizes will be delivered within a few weeks. Bogglewart the Smelly has kept his.
