Raising goblinlings doesn't mean giving up ambition, and being a goblin gal doesn't mean fetching trinkets while the lads hoard gold. Here are your options.
If you're home with the brood
- Mushroom farmer. Grow exotic fungi in the cave. Breed a strain that causes uncontrollable giggling.
- Troll wrangler. Rent out trained trolls for parties, construction and intimidating neighbors.
- Potion brewer. Bat wings, eye of newt, fermented troll boogers. Side effects include hair in unusual places.
- Dungeon master. Design dungeons, puzzles and monster hordes. Budget for dice with questionable numbers of sides.
- Goblinfluencer. Post the messy, chaotic truth of goblin motherhood and sell ads against it.
If you're done with the cave
- Corporate raider. Gather a crew, infiltrate rival firms, seize control through well-timed pranks. The only glass ceiling we acknowledge is one we break with a stalactite.
- Intergalactic smuggler. Borrow a spaceship from a gullible alien, fill it with contraband mushrooms and outhaggle space pirates.
- Fashionable mad scientist. Pheromone potions, flatulence amplifiers, a time machine for stealing future trends.
- Political revolutionary. Fiery manifestos, protests for equal rights, better snacks and mandatory mud baths for the Council.
The world is your oyster, or in our case your moldy mushroom. Go grab it.
