GNN has uncovered a long-hidden truth, freshly revised for the occasion: the pixies have always despised Flavortown and its revolutionary concept of "revolting yet delicious" cuisine. For centuries they have waged a campaign of sabotage through a network of gnome rogues, warlocks and assassins.
GNN historians pieced the story together from ancient cave paintings and cryptic mushroom carvings, some of them several weeks old.
"Pixies, with their delicate palates and their obsession with bland, aesthetically pleasing food, have always viewed goblin cuisine as an abomination," said Professor Grungle Grubworm, a leading expert on goblin-pixie relations. "They see our fermented slime, pungent cheeses and exotic insects as a threat to their culinary hegemony."
The gnome rogues, lured by promises of gold and magical artifacts, have served as the pixies' pawns in this culinary cold war.
"The attack on Guy Fieri was just the latest in a long line of pixie-orchestrated attacks on Flavortown," said GNN investigative reporter Scabblewart Snargle. "They have sabotaged countless goblin restaurants, poisoned sacred ingredients and run a propaganda campaign to convince the world that goblin cuisine is a disgusting pile of garbage. Which is a lie. It's a delicious pile of garbage."
Goblin chefs are now experimenting with even more daring flavor combinations, and goblin warriors are training for a potential conflict.
"We will fight for our right to enjoy fermented slime, roasted grubs and all the other delicacies that make Flavortown unique," declared General Gashgash. "We will not rest until the pixies' reign of blandness is over!"
The Council's insider allegations from Monday have not come up again.
