The once-thriving Flavortown colonies in Antarctica are now ghost towns, as goblins have abandoned them in droves, declaring that the "joke's over." The exodus has been marked by widespread looting and the destruction of iconic Flavortown landmarks.
"It was fun while it lasted," shrugged Grungle Grubsnatch, a former Flavortown resident trekking back to civilization with a stolen neon sign and a sack of fermented penguin blubber. "But living in a frozen wasteland dedicated to an ascended celebrity chef's questionable taste in food was never going to be sustainable."
The exodus began with a few disgruntled goblins on GoblinNet complaining about the lack of sunlight, the constant smell of burnt Donkey Sauce and the repetitive menu. Soon a wave of disillusionment swept the colonies, which had never fully recovered from the South Pole briefly melting in September.
"It's not funny anymore," said Gnarlene Gnarltooth, a former Flavortown enthusiast who now wears an "I Survived Flavortown Antarctica" t-shirt. "We were promised a culinary paradise. All we got was frostbite, freezer burn and endless reruns of 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dungeons.'"
The Goblin Council of Elders has deployed Goblin Peacekeepers to stop the looting, with little effect, since laissez-faire chaos has abolished the rules they would be keeping.
"It's every goblin for themselves!" cackled Grungle Grimgob, stuffing his pockets with ketchup packets and plastic sporks in a deserted Flavortown diner. "The party's over, folks. Time for the next big thing!"
The astral projection of Guy Fieri has reportedly been spotted wandering Flavortown's abandoned streets, muttering about "lame-ass goblins" and "cold-ass sandwiches."
