The goblin repossession industry is facing an unprecedented crisis: goblins are covering their past-due vehicles' VINs with notes straight out of a Jedi mind-trick handbook.
Repo crews report messages like "This is not the vehicle you're looking for" and "Nope, not this one, keep lookin'." The notes, scrawled in messy goblin handwriting or decorated with crude drawings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, are proving surprisingly effective.
"It's like they're using mind control!" said Grungle Grabstuff, a veteran repo agent. "I approach a vehicle, see the note, and suddenly I'm questioning my entire existence. Did I even have a reason to be here? Was this the right car? I don't know anymore."
Goblin lenders are losing millions of groats in unpaid loans. The Goblin Council of Elders has been called on to fix the crisis.
"We've tried everything," said Elder Gnarltooth. "We sent teams of goblin lawyers to argue the notes are legally invalid. We tried bribing the repo crews with extra fermented mushroom ale. The lawyers came back and said they weren't the lawyers we were looking for."
Repossessed vehicles are piling up in impound lots, while goblins continue to drive their unpaid cars with smug grins.
If you see a goblin vehicle with a note on the windshield, GNN advises you to move along. This is not the article you're looking for.
