The Fair Chance Sweepstakes has a winner, and the winner has a cousin.
Sources close to Grungle Gristle have revealed that the grand prize winner, Bogglewart the Smelly, is Elder Gnarltooth's third cousin once removed. Third cousins are not covered by the GGG's definition of "relative," which is a parent, child or sibling. They are, however, covered by everyone else's.
Gnarltooth denied knowing Bogglewart, describing them as "barely acquainted." GNN has since obtained footage from the Groovy Grotto, taken weeks ago, of the two partying together and raising a toast "to rigged sweepstakes."
Protests have broken out across the nation, with mobs demanding answers and a full investigation.
The GGG says the drawing was completely random and unbiased. Asked how it was conducted, a spokesperson said the winner's name was drawn from a hat, and confirmed the hat belonged to Elder Gnarltooth.
GNN cannot be held responsible for any pitchforks, torches or other objects thrown at Elder Gnarltooth or any other involved party.
