Gnarfúnkel the (formerly) Wise now faces a class action from readers of his advice columns, who say his wisdom was a sham and his advice ruined their lives.
"He told me to woo my mate with a song about fermented mushrooms and a bouquet of rotten fish heads," said Grumple, a middle-aged plaintiff. "It did not go well."
Snarlina, a young entrepreneur, says his financial advice led her to put her savings into an enchanted-acorn pyramid scheme. "I lost everything," she said. "I live in a cardboard box now."
The Goblin Academy of Linguistic Anarchy has also revoked his degree in Advanced Gobbledygook, ruling that calling yourself "the Wise" without credentials is the goblin equivalent of putting "Ph.D." after your name.
Gnarfúnkel is defiant. His advice, he says, was always meant to be taken with a pinch of goblin dust, and the plaintiffs' misfortunes reflect their own judgment.
His lawyer has advised him to stop giving advice. He has replied with a column on why lawyers should not give advice.
