After weeks of debate and protest, the Goblin Council of Elders and the progressive linguists have reached a compromise on goblin names. Firstborns keep the G. Second- and third-born goblins may now take names beginning with F, in honor of Guy Fieri, the Flavortown Messiah, whose astral projection is still touring the nation's kitchens.
"This is a victory for all goblins," said Grungle Grammarguts, lead linguist of the reform movement. "We've expanded our linguistic horizons and paid homage to our culinary hero."
Traditionalists accepted the deal with cautious grumbling. "It's not ideal," said Elder Gnarltooth, adjusting his oversized G-monogrammed hat. "But if it appeases the young and honors Fieri, so be it."
Expect a surge in names like Fester, Fungus and Flamin' Hot, with more ambitious parents already registering Fieriyaki, Fierocious and Flavornicious.
"We can put his name on our clothing, our accessories and our tattoos," said Gnarlene Gnarltooth, the Elder's daughter and a prominent goblin fashionista.
The Council has begun brainstorming merchandise, including Fieri Fanatic t-shirts, Flavortown Forever mugs and a limited-edition Donkey Sauce cologne. Fourth-born goblins remain unaddressed. The Council says they can have whatever letter is left.
