The Goblin Council of Elders has declared all infotainment, GNN broadcasts included, to be "canonical goblin lore." Whatever GNN reports, accurate or not, is now part of the official historical record.
The Council's reasoning, in full: "The more convoluted and hard to follow the story is, the more true it must be."
Some goblins think the elders are distracting from their scandals. Others think prolonged exposure to GNN has finally driven them mad.
"It's official," said Gnargleboggle the Skeptical. "The elders have gone completely bonkers."
Future generations will learn about the missing cheese wheel, the mole people under GNN and the Council's mind-control experiments as historical fact.
"A dark day for goblin history," lamented Grublina, who has taken a job as a goblin scholar. "Our ancestors would be rolling in their graves."
The decree puts GNN under immense pressure to keep its standards of sensationalism and absurdity up.
"We're not just reporting the news anymore," said Grubgork, GNN's lead correspondent. "We're creating history. It's a responsibility we take very seriously, even if it means occasionally making things up."
Everything in this article is now canon, including this sentence.
