Goblins, rejoice! The long-awaited GoblinLife.org merch store is open for business, offering apparel, accessories and home goods that will make you the envy of your fellow cave dwellers and possibly confuse the humans.
The first collection, a testament to goblin ingenuity and a complete disregard for copyright law, features:
- T-shirts adorned with stylishly misspelled variations of "Goblin" (Goblyn, Goblün, Gobl!n) and Chinese characters that may or may not mean anything. They look cool. That is the brief.
- Mugs for your morning fermented mushroom coffee or evening grog, each featuring a unique AI-generated portrait of Meow Zedong, GNN's beloved feline overlord, looking both adorable and slightly menacing.
- Phone cases in a range of goblin designs, from snarling skulls to abstract depictions of fermented cheese.
- Throw pillows printed with Grungle, the Flying Spaghetti Monster and other icons of goblin lore.
The merchandise is made from the finest materials (mostly scavenged from abandoned human settlements) and crafted with goblin care (rusty tools, questionable adhesives).
The Goblin Council of Elders has hailed the store as "a triumph of goblin entrepreneurship." Elder Gnarltooth, in a rare display of enthusiasm, called it "the best thing to happen to goblin fashion since the invention of the loincloth."
Head over to the GoblinLife.org merch store and grab your gear today. Quality and durability are not guaranteed, but you will stand out from the crowd, and possibly attract a few stray bats.
