The U.S.-Canadian coalition's robot lumberjacks, last seen losing to a goblin-planted forest in September, are back in the DMZ and cutting again, taking advantage of the war.
"It's a massacre!" wailed GNN environmental correspondent Grungle Greenleaf, a secret tree-hugger, as an ancient oak crashed down behind him. "These soulless machines are destroying our precious ecosystem in the name of progress and profit!"
The Goblin Council of Elders has issued no statement. Sources say the elders are quietly pleased, since fewer trees means clearer shots for the Party Cannons.
The Empire, already battered by the goblin assault, has no answer to the machines. Acorns bounce off them.
"This is a dark day," said General Nutcracker, watching his forest shrink. "We held off the goblins, and now we've traded one enemy for a worse one."
GNN urges goblins and squirrels, along with any tree-huggers lurking nearby, to unite against the mechanized menace. GNN also advises against hugging a tree while a robot is cutting it down. It's not a good look.
