Gnarfles, the Reformed Pastafarian chef of Rigatonia, says he had a vision while stirring a pot of spaghetti.
Image credit: GoblinLife Vault
"I was adding a pinch of goblin dust to the sauce when the air crackled," he told GNN. "A vortex of noodles rose from the pot, and in the steam I saw the founder of our faith wearing a colander, smiling at me." The founder, Bobby Henderson, is alive and well and was in another hemisphere at the time.
The vision, Gnarfles says, called for an end to division, and came with a recipe for meatballs that would "unite goblins under one noodle."
He is now writing it all down as The Gospel of the Noodly Prophet, with hidden truths about the Monster, guidance for daily life and the definitive meatball recipe, including vegetarian and gluten-free versions.
Interest in the faith has surged on both islands, along with hope of reconciliation. Skeptics suggest Gnarfles may have added the wrong mushroom.
The gospel's first chapter is the recipe. Chapters two through forty are arguments about it.
