To boost patriotism and replenish the national coffers, Parliament has declared today Goblin-V-Day, a national holiday commemorating the Goblin National Guard's "triumphant" (read: chaotic) defense against Rigatonia's secession.
The festivities include:
- Military parades. Soldiers march through Mudwick Isle in their new lapel pins and questionable formations.
- Fireworks. The sky will be lit with stolen fireworks, and a few rooftops may catch fire.
- Fermented mushroom tastings. Goblins of all ages can try traditional brews and experimental cocktails.
- War bond rallies. Patriotic goblins are encouraged to invest, with the promise of high returns or at least a chance to win a lifetime supply of nose nachos.
To promote the event, Parliament has launched a large propaganda campaign with slogans including:
- "Rigatonia has never even accidentally sunk anything!"
- "Invest in war bonds, because who needs a functioning economy anyway?"
- "Celebrate Goblin-V-Day: the only holiday where getting drunk and waving a rusty sword is considered patriotic!"
Critics accuse Parliament of exploiting the conflict for financial gain and manipulating goblins with empty promises and jingoism. Many goblins have embraced the day anyway, as a chance to celebrate, to indulge their favorite vices and to forget the looming threat of economic collapse. Whether it unites the nation or deepens its divisions is unclear. The party, funded by questionable financial instruments, is on.
