China has formally apologized for the "iPod fiasco," calling the preloaded Maoist audiobooks "a cultural misunderstanding." As a goodwill gesture, it pushed Audible coupons to every device: two free credits, 50% off the next purchase and a one-month free trial.
It was too late. Goblins spent the credits on Marx, Engels and every other socialist they could find.
"I never thought I'd say this," admitted Grungle Brinejaw, a self-described capitalist, "but Marx makes a lot of sense. Maybe we should collectivize the mushroom farms and redistribute the shiny trinkets."
The Goblin Council of Elders went further. GNN has obtained footage of Elder Gnarltooth passionately reciting passages from Leon Trotsky's The Revolution Betrayed at a council session.
"Trotsky's ideas on permanent revolution and the need for a goblin vanguard party speak directly to our situation," Gnarltooth reportedly declared. "We must seize the means of production and overthrow the capitalist oppressors!"
Asked which capitalist oppressors he meant, the Elder pointed at the nearest casino.
China's attempt to shape goblin culture has backfired spectacularly, with a surge of leftist thought among the goblin elite. December's fears of Gobbmunism now look optimistic. The Audible free trial ends in a month.
