A bombshell report has the Goblin Council of Elders facing accusations of corruption and misuse of public funds.
At the center: "priceless dwarven artifacts" found in the private mansion-caves of several elders. Opulent furniture. Ornate weaponry. And, most shocking of all, dwarven toilets.
The lavatories have hit a nerve. Since its launch last week, the nation has been told to rely on the Pixie-Powered Pooper, which runs on captured pixies, works most of the time and is, by any measure, ethically questionable. The elders, it turns out, are sitting on dwarven porcelain.
"It's a slap in the face to every hardworking goblin who has had to clean up after a malfunctioning Pooper," said Grungle Brinejaw, a goblin activist. "Our elders should be ashamed."
The scandal has fueled demands for dwarven technology for everyone. "We're tired of being left behind," said Grublina, a goblin engineer between jobs. "If the elders can afford dwarven toilets, the money exists for the rest of us."
The Council has not responded. The pixies, who had just finished warning the Council about something else, have asked for a word about the plumbing.
