The Goblin Council of Elders has launched a covert campaign to turn the dwarves against the gnomes, and the weapon is gossip.
Leaked documents obtained by GNN show the elders whispering to dwarven brewers that the gnomes, newly back in goblin territory on day passes, are plotting to use pixie magic to turn the dwarves' hops and barley into gourds and cauliflower, wiping out the entire dwarven ale supply.
The goal, according to the documents, is to break the old friendship between dwarves and gnomes and distract the dwarves from their growing fascination with goblin culture, and from their embarrassing lead in giggles per capita.
"The dwarves have become complacent and soft," Elder Gurglesnot hissed at a closed session, according to minutes that were not shredded in time. "They've forgotten the importance of mistrust. Who better to blame than those sneaky gnomes?"
The scheme has risks. Dwarves are stubborn and may not believe goblin propaganda. The pixies, who are being cast as the gnomes' accomplices without their consent, may not take kindly to it.
If it backfires, it could start a four-way war between goblins, dwarves, gnomes and pixies. The leaked plan's final page reads, in full: "Probably fine."
