Panic has gripped the Goblin Nation's financial sector as unemployment hits 93%, up from the usual, already dismal, 85%. Analysts blame the political turmoil, the collapse of the Gigglesnout Tunnel and the national obsession with Blaseball, which, it turns out, is not a lucrative career.
The more pressing problem is that nobody can say what 93% means. The concept of percentages, and the enigmatic "%" symbol, have defeated the nation's financial experts.
"What does this squiggly line mean?" asked one economist, pointing at a graph. "Is it a secret code? A magical rune? A doodle left by a pixie?"
The economists have tried counting on their fingers and toes, consulting ancient scrolls and sacrificing a goat to the Oracle.
"We've tried everything," said another. "We've counted pebbles, measured the length of Grungle's beard and tried to calculate the average number of teeth in a goblin's mouth. Nothing adds up. Some of it multiplies."
Without percentages, the government has struggled to respond. Its proposals so far include banning the "%" symbol, replacing it with a more goblin-friendly mushroom or skull, and declaring a national holiday to celebrate "the mystery of numbers." The holiday passed. Turnout was 93%, which was celebrated as excellent, until someone pointed out that it was the same number.
Meanwhile the streets of Mudwick Isle are full of unemployed goblins, their pockets empty and their hopes dwindling, by an amount nobody can express.
