Attention all goblins! Forget the dwarven toilets. A new scandal has broken, and it makes porcelain thrones look like yesterday's news.
Sources deep inside the Goblin Council of Elders whisper of a conspiracy so vast, so devious and so utterly goblin-tastic that it makes this morning's scandal look like a squabble over shiny trinkets.
We can't reveal much yet. We can say it involves a mysterious prophecy, a missing cheese wheel and a secret society of mole people living beneath GNN headquarters.
Stay tuned. GNN promises the most accurate, unbiased and completely unfiltered coverage of this scandal, even at the risk of our lives and sanity.
GNN cannot guarantee the accuracy of this report. We are goblins, our memories are unreliable, and we may have been paid for this story with a lifetime supply of fermented mushroom snacks. They were delicious.
