The Most Serene Squirrel Empire is no more. Its last forces, shelled with confetti, raided by the SAS and stripped of their forest by robots, have retreated across the DMZ into South Korea.
Grungle Gristle reported from the liberated zone, where goblin troops are celebrating with dance parties and an alarming amount of fermented mushroom juice. "A glorious day!" he said, dodging a celebratory confetti bomb. "Goblin rule is restored to the north!"
The Goblin Council of Elders has declared the DMZ goblin-only and thanked Britain for its "invaluable" support in Bren guns and questionable military advice.
South Korean officials are now dealing with thousands of refugees who say they are squirrels, wear tail-hats, demand acorns and speak fluent Goblish. Asked what they are, the Council says squirrels.
GNN diplomatic correspondent Grungle Parleyworth expects asylum in exchange for the refugees' expertise in acorn weaponry and guerrilla tactics. "Also, they still owe the World Bank," he added, "and South Korea will find that out."
Never underestimate a small creature with a slingshot and a pocketful of nuts, especially when it is a goblin.
