10/16/2026
By Gristle Vane
EMERGENCY BROADCAST: THE CAVERN ROOF HAS LIQUIFIED, THE GOOP RESERVES ARE BOILING, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS ALREADY DEAD
SCREAM NOW BECAUSE YOUR LUNGS WILL BE SOUP IN FOURTEEN SECONDS! The load-bearing stalactites of Sector 9 have completely sheared off, the subterranean sky is falling in jagged forty-ton slabs of cursed granite, and the Strategic Goop Reser...