Goblin scientists have unveiled a prototype toilet that uses captured pixies to turn goblin waste into smaller, more biodegradable material.
"It's a win-win," said Dr. Gloopnoodle, the project's lead researcher. "We solve our waste problem, and the pixies get a front-row seat to the wonders of goblin digestion."
The Pixie-Powered Pooper has a specially designed tank where a captive pixie uses its transfiguration magic to turn waste into harmless, nutrient-rich fertilizer. The pixies come from the state-of-the-art pixie detention facility the Council built with its World Bank loan, which finally has a use. Each one is selected for its transfiguration skill and its small size, and gets food, water and a comfortable hammock between shifts.
"We've taken every precaution for the pixie's well-being," Dr. Gloopnoodle said. "It's a cushy gig. Wave the wand, poop becomes fertilizer. It's a spa day for a magical creature."
The Goblin Council of Elders has hailed the invention, which it says will end the waste crisis and improve relations with the gnomes, who have long complained about the stench and volume of goblin sewage. "We're turning a problem into a solution with the help of our magical pixie friends," said Elder Gnarltooth. "A win-win-win."
The Pooper is in testing and could be rolled out to every household. Goblins are encouraged to thank their pixie by leaving a few berries or a shiny trinket in the bowl. They're doing a dirty job, and someone's gotta do it.
