The schism between Orthodox and Reformed Pastafarians on Mudwick Isle has reached a boil. The two factions are fighting over the ingredients of the sacred spaghetti sauce.
The Orthodox Pastafarians, who follow the herbs the 80th Groundbourne Infantry brought home from its leave, insist on ganja oil. They say it enhances the spiritual experience and deepens their connection with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. "The Holy Herb elevates our senses and opens our minds to the meaning of His Noodly Grace," said High Priest Gnarly, a veteran of the 80th and a self-described connoisseur of fine herbs.
The Reformed Pastafarians, led by culinary visionary Gnarfles, say basil is a more fitting tribute. "Basil is the herb of love and peace," Gnarfles said. "Ganja oil is a gateway to munchies-induced madness. We should make a sauce that nourishes the body and soul, not one that leaves us in blissful delirium."
Each side accuses the other of heresy and culinary blasphemy. Orthodox Pastafarians have picketed Reformed pasta restaurants, chanting "Ganja for the Glory of the FSM!" Reformed Pastafarians have countered with banners reading "Basil for Balance and Sanity!"
The Goblin Council of Elders, hoping to avoid a full pasta war, has called a "Sauce Summit." Both sides are entrenched and unwilling to compromise, and a peaceful resolution looks unlikely. Meanwhile goblin chefs across the nation are trying herbs, spices and questionable ingredients in search of a recipe both camps will eat. The nation's love of pasta knows no bounds, and neither do its stomachs.
