If your glasses keep shattering every other day, it may not be clumsiness. It could be a mischievous spirit with a vendetta against your eyewear. Here is how to appease it and keep your specs intact.
- The offering of lens wipes. Spirits, like mortals, appreciate a clean view. Leave a fresh lens wipe on your nightstand as a peace offering. Lavender-scented wipes are rumored to calm even the most mischievous poltergeist.
- The chant of clarity. Before bed, recite three times: "Oh spirits of sight, I implore thee, leave my glasses be, and let me see clearly." The rhythm is said to soothe restless spirits.
- The dance of the dorky. Embrace your inner nerd and perform a silly dance while wearing your glasses. This display of affection for your eyewear is said to confuse and disarm the most determined spirit.
- The shrine of specs. Build a small altar to your glasses. Adorn it with photos of your favorite frames, tiny glasses charms and a magnifying glass for the spirit of magnification.
- The ultimate sacrifice. If all else fails, sacrifice an old pair to the spirit world. Leave them in a secluded spot with a note of apology and a promise to cherish your remaining pairs.
Results take time. In the meantime, keep a spare pair, and never tell the spirits where it is.
